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Celebrating 12 Years of LANE!!!

September 30, 2009

IMG_4991If you know us at all, you know how passionate we are about our kids.  I don’t know that we ever thought we would be here.  As I write this, I am the father of 3 boys…13, soon to be 12,  and 9…the unofficially official father of a 21 year old semi-adopted daughter, and a 4 year old on the way!  Times like this make me contemplate quite a bit.  So in thinking and reflecting, I thought I would give you 12 things Lane has taught us:

Almost 2 weeks old

Almost 2 weeks old

1.  It NEVER hurts to ask for help. I can’t tell you how much I could learn from this.  Lane gets himself into predicaments often and can’t figure out how to get himself out.  He lets out a cry or scream and someone comes running.  Maybe I should ask for help more often…with a little less screaming and crying.

2.  When you get yourself stuck, sometimes it takes someone else to help you get out. That’s right…get some help.  Lane was stuck the other day between the dresser and the wall.  He physically couldn’t get out on his own.  When I came into the room and offered to help him, he accepted my help and went right on playing.  I wasn’t mad at him for getting stuck…so why do I think everyone will look at me funny if I ask for help?first born being held

3.  Peeing your pants is NOT the end of the world. At first glance, that statement seems so simple, but the reality of it is accidents happen.  Even with a soon to be 12 year old who isn’t potty-trained and wears diapers.  We take every precaution available and even sit him on the potty as often as possible; but even with our preventive measures, he still has accidents.  I don’t care.  I still love him.  Good to remember…

halloween tigger4.  Don’t trade the convenience of riding in a stroller for the exercise of walking with a walker. I tell people all the time, “We’re the people you HATE to get behind at the mall.”  Whenever we get the chance, we take Lane out of his stroller and let him walk beside us.  It’s happening less and less lately because it seems we’re always in a hurry, but we don’t have to be.  He gets so tired walking, but we have noticed the more he walks, the better he sleeps, the more active he is during the day, and well…he just likes it.

school is a scream5.  If you feel like letting out a scream of excitement…others WILL look at you and wonder what’s up. It’s ok to be excited!  Sometimes when we’re out eating, Lane will let out this shrill shriek that lets everyone around us know he’s there.  Most of the time it’s his way of being excited and he doesn’t know how else to share his excitement with others.  I however, err too often by keeping my excitement and joy to myself, wanting to be reserved rather than real.

6.  Music makes the day go better. How many times have you found yourself riding in the car or walking down the street and hear a song that makes you smile?  How about that song you hear that brings back some of the funniest memories ever?  Do you have a “go to” song when you feel down?  Lane is rarely away from

Daddy's ring on my arm

Daddy's ring on my arm

music.  He has the piano in his room, the iPod, and the car seat with speakers.  He knows the power of music and just how music makes the day go better.  That’s why I’m listening to the Zac Brown Band right now…a little diddy that makes me tap my toes and smile…

7.  You will say “Hi” to some people, who will completely ignore you…it’s OK. Some people don’t listen for your voice.  I know it’s hard to believe others don’t think as highly of you as YOU do, but they don’t.  Not one person has entered our house in the past few years that Lane hasn’t said, “Hi…Hi…Hi…Hi…Hi…” to.  I mean he will say it over and over and over…until either we recognize him or the person does.  It used to embarrass me that he wouldn’t be quiet when “official’ visitors came…like the lady who did our home study for our adoption, but I have learned over the years…he is a part of our family and that’s just his thing.  He’s not going to outgrow it, IMG_6585but he’s going to want to be recognized.  I have decided I’M going to recognize him…after all…he’s the man…just ask him.  Our friends make their way straight to him and have recognized him as the official Wilson family greeter.  Who knows…maybe he could work at Wal*Mart one day as a professional greeter.  Never thought about that…but maybe.

8.  Some days are better when you have a few minutes to yourself to unwind.  Every day Lane has the happy lanesame routine.  He comes home from school, gets in his floor, and immerses himself in things he likes.  He plays the piano, with toys, or just chills out.  He doesn’t care about anything until he unwinds from a day at school.  I cant’ imagine what goes through his mind during the day, but I can see him calm down and refresh every afternoon over a 30 minute stretch.  I have taken notes on that…

9.  Every day can not be Tuesday, no matter what I think. Ask Lane what day it is…regardless of when it actually is…and he’s going to answer Tuesday.  It doesn’t matter what you tell him…it’s Tuesday to him.  Do I ever get stuck refusing to learn what’s going on?  He has an excuse…I don’t!

10. When othIMG_6600ers stare at you, it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes people don’t understand what’s going on and they stare.  I used to hate it.  I tried to manipulate them in messages and conversations by telling them the stares got on my nerves.  The reality is, I stare too.  When I see something out of the ordinary, I have a tendency to stare.  I wonder to myself, “what’s wrong with that person?  Why is that kid acting like that?  Why???”  I can’t hold it against people who stare…but I can make sure I’m not intimidated into acting like I don’t.  I will go and talk rather than sit and stare.

Off ventilator11.  Humans have an innate desire to survive. This is NOT an abortion rant, but after watching a 23 week and 5 day old “baby” survive outside the womb, I have no doubt that God created us with the ability and desire to live.  Sure, junk gets in the way, but NO CHILD should be denied that right.  I saw it.  I watched him fight for the first breath when his lungs collapsed.  Some call it spasm and reflex but I call it LIFE.

12.  Sometimes the only way to get through things is to face the ugly reality of what has to happen. One of the worst and best things ever for Lane was when he received an intraosseous in his left shin bone.  That’s how he got one of his 36 blood transfusions while he was in the hospital.  They stuck a needle into his shin.  I would NEVER want to see that in an ordinary day, but on this particular day, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.  That ugly procedure saved his LIFE.

There you go…some things I’ve learned from spending 12 years with Lane…

The Wilson Boys...

The Wilson Boys...

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Sherry Wilson permalink
    September 30, 2009 1:39 pm

    Thanks for sharing these precious moments with me. I cried through the 12 reasons, but I enjoyed them hopefully as much as you did sharing them with me and thousands of others.
    I pray your days will go well, but you and I both know the DEVIL NEVER QUITS!!!
    Have a great day and Lord willing we will see you Friday!
    Love you and all the family dearly!!!
    Mom

  2. Denise Thomas permalink
    September 30, 2009 3:13 pm

    Ten things Lane has taught to me:
    1. Hugs are worth more than all the money in the world!
    2. Smiles are one of the most beautiful gifts we can receive.
    3. Trust is something we earn.
    4. Faith is a natural instinct. (Why don’t we recognize that?)
    5. When things aren’t good, it’s okay to cry.
    6. Daddys holding us close can make everything alright.
    7. Applesauce and mashed potatoes and pudding can mix together deliciously!
    8. God shows Himself to us through eyes that can’t even see.
    9. Music is a gift God gives to all of us. It just takes digging deep to find it.
    10. Slobbery kisses are the very best kind!

  3. tauna marie permalink
    October 1, 2009 10:28 am

    Great list! I sure love your boys. And yes, Lane is The Man!

  4. Melissa permalink
    October 15, 2009 9:02 am

    YOur family is very beautiful. Your love for your family is coming out in your words. YOur boys are beautiful and I pray God will bring your little girl home soon. Praying for your wife and you as you complete the wonderful journy of adoption.

  5. January 17, 2010 4:52 pm

    Great post Mike. I saw you on the news and found your blog. We went to Cumberland, at about the same time. I think. Anyways, know we are praying for you and your family down in Haiti and everybody else there. We are taking up money and supplies at church.

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